My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
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