So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
whose ass print is on the piano?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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