I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize