Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize