Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Randomize
