Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize