You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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