so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
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