how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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