There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
porn star boner night. come get it.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
