I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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