ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Bang-toberfest begins!!
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
