Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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