Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Randomize
