there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
