haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I had to cum in my sink.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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