i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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