dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
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She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
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