he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
