Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
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