redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
