Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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