is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
