Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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