Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
