yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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