And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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