Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
Randomize
