I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
did i just pee glitter
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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