The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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