there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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