Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Found your dick twin last night
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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