Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
