I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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