I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
