u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
