VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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