i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
There r osticjed everywhere
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm sobbing to NWA
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
