I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
I just found puke in my bra..
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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