It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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