were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
