so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
