So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
