And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
