I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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