eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
Too much gin, very little bucket
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Randomize