I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
