maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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