capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
