I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
