I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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