i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
