3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
