watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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