i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
We need to get me chipped asap
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
