The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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