im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I think i peed on brittanys purse
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
