no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
