u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
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