my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
This girl is more easily done than said...
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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