The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
