He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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