Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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