Will you blow on my dice?
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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