I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
